Tommy Pickles: Vampire Hunter
by ReptarLover69
Summary: Pretty much what the title says. This is NOT related to my on-going series, "Hipster Rugrats." One-shot! Rated T for mild language.


Interior: An attic. But a nice, apartment-like attic. Tommy lives there with his mother. His father and brother have already been transformed. Grandpa Lou has died of AIDS. Also, Spike is in now in Doggy Heaven. Tommy and his mother fled their house during The Outbreak and now live in this swanky attic. They have a fun and loving relationship, despite the hell they have been through. They have barricaded themselves in, like many other folks. They keep in touch with the goings-on of the outside world through the old-timey radio that they discovered in their cool-as-shit, apartment-like attic.

"Lots of cases have thus far been reported in City, California, which, as we all know, is the epicenter of The Outbreak." said the radio news. "Victims attack the uninfected, not unlike vampires."

Tommy was scared. "Mum," he said British-ly "are the vampires going to come here?" They had narrowly escaped City, California and now resided in Town, California

"Don't worry, honey," replied DeeDee, "Those reports are just liberal propaganda."

Tommy, desperately wanting to believe that vampires weren't real, believed her. Big mistake, Tommy! Not too long after that, they saw a mob of monsters shuffling down the street. Tommy and his mother watched from the luxurious attic in quiet terror. A couple of the monsters walked up to the house and rang the doorbell. Tommy and his mother went downstairs and peeked out the window with a great amount of curiosity. They breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing that the monsters were just trick-or-treaters. They'd completely forgotten that it was Halloween!

"Tommy, love, go get on your costume." As Tommy began to walk away, his mother opened the door for the trick-or-treaters. As she was handing them candy, a real vampire rushed forward, pushing the trick-or-treaters out of the way and lunging at Tommy's mother, DeeDee. She closed the door quickly, crushing the vampire's arm. But she wasn't strong enough to hold him back. Vampires have supernatural strength, in case you didn't know. She told Tommy to run and hide, but he refused. "Tommy, go! If I get infected, I have less of a chance of turning than you do!" (A news report had said that women were not as likely to show symptoms of Vampirism as men were. I probably should have mentioned that earlier.) The vampire bit her, and after fighting him off, they retreated back to the attic or whatever that room is. She told Harry not to worry, she probably wouldn't turn. They waited all night for any symptoms to appear and none did. They thought they were in the clear, but at dawn, when bits of sunlight shined through the window onto her skin, it began to burn. She told Tommy to run away. "Be careful. Keep off the main roads and go find some police or firefighters." They tearfully parted and Tommy started to run away. Once he crossed the street, he heard a gunshot coming from his house. He stopped for a moment, a single tear running down his cheek, then continued on.

Soon, he found a group of firefighters-turned-vampire-hunters. They were reluctant to let a kid follow them around. "He would be a hindrance to the group, which needs to quickly and stealthily move around!" said one of the members of said group, expositionally.

Tommy pleaded with them and told them his sad story. "Please! I promise I'll keep up. I won't get in the way, I don't take up much room, and I don't even eat much." They then decided to help this poor child who had nobody left in the world. Right then, they got a call about somebody's aunt who was turning. They were there in a jiffy-pop. They made their way up the twisting staircase, Tommyy bringing up the rear. They all stopped dead in their tracks when they heard eerie, inhuman noises coming from a room. After a second of hesitation, they opened the door and found a woman strapped to the bed, hissing and screaming as the sun hit her through the windows. Tommy recognized her instantaniously. It was Ant Miriam! He had always known there was something not quite right about her. The vampire hunters tried to kill her with a bunch of stuff, like garlic or whatever, but nothing worked. Then Tommy stepped up and told them to shut the blinds, then quickly run out of the room, lock the door, and run before she broke out of the room. Since nothing else worked, they figured that they might as well try Tommy's idea. They shut the blinds, at which point, the vampire calmed down and started looking around the room. The vampire hunters just stood there, watching her. Tommy kept yelling at them to get out, but they wouldn't listen. They continued to stand there, transfixed on the vampire Ant Miriam. Suddenly, she broke out of her restraints and leapt at the hunters. Tommy and a couple of the hunters escaped, shutting and locking the door behind them. The vampire banged on the door from the other side and made ear-bleeding shrieks.

"Quickly! We must leave before she breaks out!" said Tom. Given what had just happened, they figured that they'd better listen to this scrappy little orphan's plans from now on. And Tommy grew up to become the world's best vampire hunter and nuclear physicist and also winned the Nobel Peace Prize for literature. And also, he got an honorary degree from Arizona State University. The End!


End file.
